I sent him a message on OFW as a courtesy reminder. Brette's Answer: Stop listening to your husband. Right. Ignoring the allergy is an important problem and one that would be of great concern to the court. Angela's Question: After my daughter arrived back home from visitation with her father, she told me that daddy had a new friend that stayed with them the entire time. It takes time to build a relationship and everyone has to be patient. He is old enough to decide. Is extending visitation to Monday morning wise if he lives 2 hours away? He is also demanding I meet him half-way for the exchange and also grant his parents additional visitation rights. This is an important point because the visitation time is meant for him to use personally. You need to get along for the kids sake and try to show the children that you can all get along. That they had no problems with me at home or at school and wanted to see him, but he refused. Do I have a right to know where my kids are during visitation? While you can ask the court to enforce the child support order, you must continue to allow the visits as scheduled. What rights do I have when it comes to this? You didn't mention Sundays, so maybe he is available then? KaLynn's Question: My ex and I are having a hard time agreeing on where his visitation with our 3 year old child should take place. If the court has ordered regular parent-child visitation, then you should do whatever you can to make sure those visits take place—even if that means taking care of the transportation yourself. After only three visits, he now wants overnight visitation. He needs to understand her schedule, her needs, and what kind of trouble she could potentially get in. Anna's Question: My 2 children (ages 10 and 5) live with me and I share legal custody with my ex-husband. Thank you in advance! He is being a bad influence on my children and I can't make him realize it. Emilee's Question: I have sole custody of my 7 year old and his father has visitation. If your ex and his wife are interfering with your custodial rights to stay in contact with your child it could be grounds for a change in custody. You should request that a Law Guardian or Guardian ad litem be assigned to the case. . I would also suggest you stop allowing visitation every weekend since all you're doing is setting a precedent for how visitation will continue. Brette's Answer: When you say he has no place to live I am unclear as to whether you mean he is between apartments and is currently staying with friends, or if you mean he is completely homeless, living on the street. That would be very damaging to her, to know that her father has rejected her but chose her brother. Brette's Answer: It is likely the order would be updated to include the schedule you have been following. I want my children to have contact with their dad but I don't see how they can ever be in his home. . If you have concerns about his ability to care for her, you need to share those. Josie's Question: My daughter has custody of her seven year old daughter and her ex sees her every Wed., every other Mon. Lately he is coming up with excuses for not taking them. Could he possibly get visitation if he is on trial for child abuse? I think the best plan is to find out how to make that happen with as little conflict as possible. Vanese's Question: My divorce states that neither party shall take the children out of the state without expressed written consent of the other party. Your son undoubtedly needs his father in his life. Their lifestyle is inappropriate for my children to be around. People other than parents may have legal authority over a child. Brette's Answer: Yes, file for a violation of the order with the court. I called my Ex to pick up my daughter due to almost loosing a house and almost getting a divorce so that he could take my daughter for a couple of weeks so that I can get some things together of which I did. He'll see the error of his ways pretty quickly. If he does keep them a whole weekend, they usually go visit his ex-girlfriend for a day without him. Can my ex stop visitation if I'm living with my boyfriend? Colleen's Question: My husband has a sex addiction which we've been battling for six years. It means you get to decide when and how often occurs. He gets him every weekend and in the summers. You can also get more ideas by checking out special food diets and visitation. Brette's Answer: Each order is different. I agree that having visitation with your ex present is probably not a good idea. Jessica's Question: I am having trouble with my ex-husband on agreeing where he is allowed to take my children. You can represent yourself in family court. If he chooses not to accept, it's his problem. The fact that he has not had regular contact with the child makes it likely he will not get what he is asking for. Stephanie's Question: The girls are supposed to go to their fathers every other weekend. Currently he contacts us sporadically for visits (I take them to a public place and stay in the parking lot). For best results, talk to an attorney. Response: Yes, she can if your agreement does not require that you be the only one to pick up the children. Brette's Answer: I think you are right to be concerned. I do not know how your Judge will address the existence of the … Can he take our baby overnight if he's never cared for her alone? This could be carefully constructed so that it is just for them and not their son and I think you might not have a problem with that then. Call and ask if they have a car seat expert - most do. Tell him that visitation is very important and you really want to make it work. Technically she is out of school at 2:40pm on Friday's. Advise please... Brette's Answer: No. His mother told me he has been seeing a psychiatrist since he was 12. Brette's Answer: I commend you for wanting your daughter to spend time with her father. The allegations have been investigated, no proof was found and nothing was filed. Brette's Answer: The visitation order stands as written and perhaps the other judge did not see the actual order. Can he take the baby overnight if he hasn't ever watched her alone? Go to court and ask to have the visitation plan modified to include a provision that he must make his home berry-free. I don't think it is best for an infant to be shuttled 160 miles round trip for visitation. Nicole's Question: My ex-husband is using his Christmas visitation for the first time. Is that right or fair to our child? Get Expert Advice About Divorce and Custody! Talk to your lawyer to understand your state laws and how you should best proceed. If it happens again, it has become a pattern and is a problem. What does no romantic companion at all in my order mean? The judge might decide not to give him the address. Jacinda's Question: My ex is the residential parent and we have joint legal custody. His parents have always been very good to me and my son, and actually help me with paying daycare each month. He might also decide he can have it but could put a restraining order in place ordering him to stay away. Brette's Answer: In a situation where your ex cannot provide the care your daughter needs it would make sense that another adult needs to be present during the visitation. So that's what you should do. What rights do I have, and can I prevent this from happening in the future? He lives 2 hours away, so it's hard on our daughter and she does not want to go up and see him. The drop off time is too late at night, so she is wired on sugar, un-bathed and unfed at 8 PM. He never believed our preemie daughter has asthma or our other daughter was allergic to eggs (dr. confirmed). Needless to say, the divorce got messy because I voiced this concern. You have your child packed up and ready to go with the other parent - and he doesn't show up. Brette's Answer: This is generally not considered acceptable, however some families do not have enough space. You're both going to move on with your lives and you may not always agree with how he moves forward. He has been sending his wife to pick up kids for the last year, telling me he was training for a new job. He has a right to live with her if he wants to. Brette's Answer: Nothing can happen until your ex actually files papers. What if he does not allow phone call while our son is with him? I am curious if supervised visitation would be an option for him with our daughter, just to ensure she is safe while she is with him? You should talk to an attorney who can help you. If our child is taking a week to stay with his father for visitation, can the father still carry on going to work leaving the child with his new girlfriend Tbf - 6-Feb-18 @ 10:03 AM I have a six year old son, my ex and I both have parental responsibility. It simply says "Visitation will be determined between the parties". Q: Is there any chance to get custody of a child back when u lost battle when she was a baby? Do I have a right to contact my son if he has custody? Also, can he pick up my daughter if neither he nor his girlfriend have a driver’s license? No judge is going to give him weekend overnight visitation if he has no home. Michelle's Question: I have been divorced for a little over a year and the visitation schedule gives my ex-husband and his family way too much time with my children. Do I have a right to know who lives at my ex's house? I start the time when I get to his place and it ends when I leave. He has a long history of depression, anger management issues and is a drug user. Brette's Answer: I know how hard this is. Can I still have my allowed visitation time even though we will have to sleep in my car? Before Dad can leave child with a gf or other person, he must first inquire with the biomom to see if she would like to be with child on Saturday. Any judge is going to laugh at this unless you can prove the girl friend is wacko! First of all, he's going to have to get up early to get to school and what if they get stuck in traffic. What if his girlfriend spends the night and the parenting plan prohibits it? But is this true or are you trying to just be difficult? Child visitation and child custody exchanges are a vital part of maintaining and building relationships between a child and each of their parents, but they can be a major challenge for the parents. The Wednesday visit is increasingly becoming disruptive to our child's schedule. And then gradually to alternate weekends. Brette's Answer: If your order says your companion cannot be around your child, then that means ever. I don't mind if he sees the kids but I want it to be supervised first for a while. Brette's Answer: If he won't tell you, call your attorney. I agree that they should not be spending time with his ex-girlfriend instead of with him, so that is an important point that you could use in court should it come to that. A lot of families experience turmoil. He lives three hours away in a one-bedroom apartment. If he takes me to court, is it likely that he'll receive more days? Even if you go to court for violating the order and the judge orders your ex to bring him back, making your son stay is difficult. When a couple splits up, typically the noncustodial parent receives the right to reasonable visitation. If you are concerned, you need to be prepared to show he has no real relationship with her. My son has even demonstrated how you take a blunt and roll it up and then smoke it. Start with him coming to your home for an hour. Can we switch weekends for a special occasion? They decided it was better on the kids if he didn't see them ever again, so I do not know my half siblings. I don't want to, because he is so irresponsible, and what if he doesn't give them back. He pays child support off and on, but I would gladly give it up. She also says that there is no way to force him to fulfill his visitation. Can he stop her from picking up the kids? Good luck. If there are two sons, it certainly seems they could share a room while your daughter is there and that would not be an unreasonable arrangement. It doesn't sound like you're agreeing, so that's all you're required to comply with right now. If so, it's a good idea that you find a way to continue the contact. What is a realistic expectation of visitation set by a court? Brette's Answer: If he is interfering with your right to visitation, then you should file a violation in court. Ashlie's Question: Can I legally pick my kids up from their fathers sister if she has temporary legal custody if there have been no visitation right established? Sometimes parents, for convenience or other reasons, ask a non-parent to pick up a child. I am concerned with this room-sharing and sleeping arrangement. I feel my son should have his own space at both homes. Their dad has visitation every other weekend. What is a realistic visitation schedule for an infant? I understand your concerns about your son adjusting, so I would recommend he start slowly - have a couple day visits and work up to an overnight. The custody papers say both parents are to have reasonable visitation rights within my discretion. My ex (CP) drove to our meeting spot, saw my girlfriend's car and refused to even speak to her. You could take your kids to a therapist and see if that is helpful. You should talk to him about this and find a way to work together to make things better for her. Can I refuse visitation if he's threatened to kidnap the children? Jessica's Question: My 10 year old daughter just met her biological father 5 months ago, and they are attending supervised visitations. The friendly approach is the way to go with this one. My ex ignores food allergies, doesn't give allergy medicine to my son, and keeps allergens in his home (a cat). Now he wants his one weekday for 10 hours plus 3 weekends a month for 6-8 hours on both days (with a break for nap/breastfeeding). You can certainly try, but given the fact that you're having problems interacting, it might make sense to stay away from each other and have someone else be an intermediary for pick-ups. The best way to handle this is to take the high road. Brette's Answer: During his custodial time it's up to him who has contact with the child. Is it illegal for my boyfriend to sleep in the same room as my child? His medical problem is a concern, so you can ask for supervised visitation. Keep a log so you can prove she's not giving you extra time now. He has a history of "forgetting" to give them their medicine, apply sun block, etc. They have enough pain to deal with because their parents are divorced! I'm not discounting your son's version of the events, I'm suggesting there might be more to it and perhaps you could try to find out what. If he is school age, I would say a Monday morning return is not a good idea. But setting up a proper child visitation schedule and gaining visitation rights to see your children on a regular basis can help ease the pain. Would a judge allow him to have visitation every weekend? There were never any legal papers concerning custody. He expects me to leave my daughter with him when she doesn't even know him. The practices are every day after school. The court may appoint a guardian ad litem to represent her. Well we did that & he still will not see or speak with her. I highly recommend you make every effort to work something out because once it's left in the judge's hands, you'll have no say over it. Then he might have a greater attention span when they are there and there might be more to do. And do I have to let them go? Miss my husband he works out of state no matter what I do I miss him n it's a drag hanging out with other people what's wrong with me? try to pick up the child, and if so, the name and relationship to the child of that person. If, however, you feel your children are at genuine risk, or in danger, in this person's presence, then you should do what you can to enlighten the x on what you feel makes this situation less than desireable, and if need be, restrict all access to the dangerous person. If you can talk with him and work this out on your own, that would be great. Debbie's Question: My husband thinks he can make me give up my plans because he wants to take the kids on different night than agreed to in the temporary order. Few states have laws that automatically give rights to siblings, though. I noticed some things that I packed for my daughter over at his uncle's house and was given the impression that the kids spent the night with him. Try to work out a compromise for the time they spend with her. I think you'll need a Doctor to testify and provide proof of what has happened in some of these instances. What can I do? Their grandmother watches them during the day. Alysa's Question: My ex-husband stays at my house on Wednesday nights so the kids don't have to go to his house (I sleep at my boyfriends). Two weeks is a long time to spend together when they haven't seen each other in a long time, so he should be prepared for some separation anxiety - letting her talk to you on the phone should help. Brette's Answer: There's not much you can do without some conflict. I agreed to do this for 2 or 3 months, but haven't had guts to say it has been long enough due to his abuse. Handling visitation when there are issues with substance abuse. Brette's Answer: Technically it sounds like you are in violation of the order, although you need to speak to an attorney of your own to confirm that. Is there anything we can do? Brette's Answer: Yes. He is mad at me because I won't get intimate with him, so now he won't let me see my kids unless he is there. Still have questions? Brette's Answer: Your niece, or her legal guardian if she is not mentally competent, can file a petition for violation of the order. Is there anything wrong with this arrangement? ex refuses to take my calls. But I allow him to have her every Thursday and every other weekend. The best solution is counseling to deal with the underlying issues and treat the problem. In Indiana, there are two types of custody: legal custody (the authority and responsibility for major decisions concerning the child’s upbringing, such as education or health care) and physical custody (where the child … What are my kid's rights if their father has been absent for 6 years? I really don't want him to bring me to court because I cannot financially afford a lawyer right now. Her father pays child support, but did not request any visitation rights. I want to let her know that I am here for her and I will not leave her side. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. Sarah's Question: After being divorced for several years, my ex is just now exercising his rights to see our children on an alternating schedule of one week on and one week off. Brette's Answer: If there is no indication in the order about visitation, you're not required to do anything. I don't think she should go out of state with him. I understand you're offended by it and also betrayed, but it has nothing to do with parenting. I wonder if it might be possible for you to get to know the stepmom and become a bit friendly with her. Instead, try to work out some short visits at a time and place you feel comfortable with. He lives 2 hours away from me as well and that's a very hard schedule to keep. Do you allow your daughter to be with him when he is spending the night with a girlfriend? I could understand it if I was bringing a different man home every night, but this is a serious relationship. Can we be held in contempt for not completing it? Chelsea's Question: I just wanted to know if there was a form I could fill out to revise the visitation schedule in our divorce decree. No, tell your x that you are not comfortable with the gf doing the p/u & d/o, and he needs to take care of it. Not legally, but you need to consider when you start dating and your boyfriend wants to help out by picking the kids up. Will he get visitation rights because I've filed for child support? In a situation where you already established a bond, a court would be much more likely force visitation. No overnight visitation of children if either parent has a sexual they are not married to staying over/living in the home. My sister-in-law is claiming this is the law and my brother is crushed so I would like to see if there is any truth to this. But every year it is a big battle. If the order sets out specific visitation times, they must be adhered to. Where did you and your husband sleep while living in this home? What can I do, and how can I keep my son at my house. His father calls out of the blue and wants to see him. I'm wondering if my son's father is not available to pick up our son on time for his visitation time, is it legal for him to send his girlfriend to pick up my son? He is falling back into old drug habits, and I have been told I can limit his visitation to the amount of time that I feel is in my daughter's best interest and/ or limit the visitations to supervised visits. Can a child ask for the visits to stop if the father is abusive? Talk to an attorney. And unless this woman presents a danger to the children, he can have her around them. If so, then yes, you must attend. Should I modify visitation if he hasn't taken the parenting class? You want your son to sleep at home the night before school when possible, so a Sunday evening return makes more sense. Brette's Answer: I think that is excessive for a child so young. Pam Asks: I was awarded sole custody of my 2 year old son this spring. I can't predict what will happen, but in general courts try to maintain a relationship between a father and his children. However, I'll tell you from experience that the court is not going to order your ex to move his girlfriend out. Jess's Question: My daughter is 2 and her father's name is on the birth certificate. You should take a photo of the allergic reaction she is having. I would want professional advice on how best to handle this. CA I have a current court order with visitation rights from Fri 7pm - Sun 7pm. Is he violating the visitation order if he meets our son for lunch? It is possible to walk away from your child and realize your mistake and come back and be a real parent. Go to court and get an order of custody and visitation setting out a fair schedule. Any attorney would most likely tell you this is not a good idea and would advise you against it - if you have questions, call your own attorney. Visitation with My Ex and His New Girlfriend. But setting up a proper child visitation schedule and gaining visitation rights to see your children on a regular basis can help ease the pain. My visitation is only for 2 hours for 2 nights a week. You need to try to document the threat as best you can. Every time I make him go he cries and begs me not to, and tells me that he hates it there, and that they are mean to him. Can I restrict visitation if I'm afraid he'll hurt our children? This is killing the other child. He says that his lawyer told him that it was ok for him to just go ahead and do it. --- Raymond D. Brette's Answer: Tell the judge the truth. Question: I am the supervisor for my brother's visits with his 3year old. And taken to the other want this to impact her negatively thinking everything! You just told me to include this custodial time it 's a must and is verbally forcing me provide! It continues you could also take a parenting class for divorced parents a Monday morning return is not to. Could potentially testify that this arrangement is in his custody is starting psychiatric care for our son, now. Money to waste but seems kind of arrangement is actually happening unpredictable work and! 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